Embattled Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan has issued a biting, sarcastic apology to Senate President Godswill Akpabio, taking to her social media platforms to share the message.

In her post, Natasha — currently locked in a fierce battle with Akpabio, whom she has accused of s*xual harassment — mockingly asked for forgiveness, saying she had mistakenly believed that her Senate seat was “earned through elections, not erections.”

Her pointed letter, which has left many Nigerians amused online, reads:

SATIRICAL APOLOGY LETTER
From the Desk of Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan

Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,

It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence. After extensive reflection, I now recognize my unforgivable failure to understand that legislative success, in some quarters, is not earned through merit but through the ancient art of compliance — of the most personal kind.

How foolish of me not to grasp that refusing your… “requests” was not simply an act of personal choice but a constitutional violation against the unwritten laws of certain men’s entitlement. Truly, I must apologize for valuing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners held behind closed doors.

I now see the catastrophic fallout of my actions: delayed legislation, inflamed tempers, and egos so inflated they deserve their own postcodes. For this disruption to the sacred natural order of “quid pro quo,” I bow my head in fictional shame.

Please, I beg, find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere beneath the heavy layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed her seat in the Senate was won through elections, not erections.

I remain,
Yours in eternal resistance,
Senator Natasha H. Akpoti-Uduaghan
Unafraid, Unbought, and Unbroken